do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Two words: blizzard sex
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
