do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
