I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
