I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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