Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize