wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize