just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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