I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize