Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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