You can't special order awesome
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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