whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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