I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
