So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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