That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They took my balls.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
