i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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