chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
