dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
