Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
