Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize