Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Randomize
