i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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