Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
