hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
