I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
