He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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