it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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