4 words: hood of his car
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize