Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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