i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
