I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
