His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
