You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is wine microwaveable?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
