theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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