She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
