so explain again why im purple
no
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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