sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
