she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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