I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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