we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
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im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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