I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
