i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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