i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is the high leading the old right now
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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