I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
