Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
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i think my cat just said my name.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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