I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
