why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
