i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
ttyl tear gas
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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