I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize