I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
