Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
