so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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