Where did you get a picture of my penis
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
