I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
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