Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
