Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That accounts for only three of the penises
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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