don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
