Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
