Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
