i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
4 words: hood of his car
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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