you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize