Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
