Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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