If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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