According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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