I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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