I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
